Saturday, 1 September 2012
I have The Itch. My father has The Itch. My other half has The Itch...
The Itch is something that drives all workaholics. If you have The Itch, then you'll know what I am talking about. It's the need to be doing something, the need to stay away from boredom - because boredom is death.
I loved school. Odd in this day and age but I did. I loved maths, history, science, physics, chemistry, sports, spanish, anything that made my brain whirl... I hated being bored. Boredom was usually instilled by the teachers that didn't give a monkey's about the students they were teaching and had a monotone voice that made you want to go to sleep. And those were the classes where my chair was inexplicably empty. Oh I got into trouble - but detention wasn't the punishment that my teachers thought it was. I got to sit in quiet classroom and do my homework... it was much like being in the library... where I spent most of my time anyway.
When I moved to Leeds, I found that I could work on my own terms. I had to go to lectures at Uni but that was only twice or three times a week. I had all this time where I could do what I wanted... I had never had that before. It was so easy to not do anything with my time, just while it away like most of my classmates. But then I get The Itch and I start to go loopy. I get depressed, and my immune system goes haywire, I get colds and flus... and I start to get irritated with the people around me. The only way to get back to normality is to find something to do. I am happiest when I have work to do, scripts to write, films to work on, projects to get on with. I'm not saying that that's all I do. And I'm not happiest when I am in the middle of working, but it's the feeling of satisfaction I get after it's all done that makes me happy and relaxed.
I have been visiting my family for the past month. My family live in a rural town on the South West coast of France. The weather is beautiful - sunshine all day and temperatures up to 40 degrees, the beach is an hour's drive away, it's peaceful and quiet, the perfect holiday destination. And I hate it.
Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my Pop, Ma, Grandparents and my Sister... but I can't stand to be here for too long. A month is just about all I can handle, and that's because I can't work here. Because I never see them it's not fair to sit at my desk and work. The way my Pop has the wifi set up means that my Mac doesn't like to connect to the internet, so I am condemned to an internet ban! And my head just isn't in the right place. I need to be sat at my desk at home for my head to be screwed on straight.
My flight is on the 4th of September - three sleeps away, and I cannot wait! I am glad to come and visit but I love going home. I find that being here, where there is nothing to do but drink a lot of coffee and alcohol... gives me time to think. So even though I have The Itch so bad I am going a bit crazy, it also allows me to think about what I'm going to do when I get home. I have about 4 projects that I want to start working on straight away, that I probably wouldn't have started had I not gotten The Itch.
And when I think about it - getting The Itch is good. It keeps me sane, even when I go loopy. It makes my brain think about what I want to do with my life. And coming back to where I grew up and talking to my Pop and Ma and Sister gives me ideas that I never would have thought about by myself. So I'm glad I came... but now, I just want to go home.